First Hike: That's a lot of beer to drink!

This one was just too funny not to post!

As many of you already know, the x-ray this week showed good bone growth in the lateral view.  Doc says it's a good start, so I decided to celebrate today.  People celebrate in different ways, and I am definitely in the category of "different".  I've had a few near term goals in mind recently.  I have to say recently because my original goals regarding this comeback are long past.  No worries though...we'll get there eventually.

I basically have 3 goals in mind:

1. Walk without pain and without a limp by my Birthday, April 4.
2. Walk the Traprock course on April 15 to mark it for the race.
3. Run another 100 miler when I turn 50 in 3 years.

OK, number 3 is a stretch goal, but please allow me to dream a little.  Frankly, number 1 looks like a bit of a stretch from where I sit now.  I'm walking, but the limp and pain are my constant companion.  The limp seems to be improving at times, but who knows...  I'll take what I can get.

Anyway, today I decided that I needed to see if I could walk on trails in an effort to prepare for number 2.  Sure, I may be limping and in pain, but I can still walk.  Anyway, I was curious to see if the limp would be less on uneven surfaces and see how I would fare on the hills.

I haven't been up to Pinnacle Rock since September.  It's about 2 miles from my house and I used to run hills there.  I love running to the top of the rock and jumping around like Rocky, checking out the view, and running the trails along the ridge.  Today, the goal was to hike the half mile from my car to the top of the rock and back.  It seemed simple enough.  I figured the snow would be melted and I would just have a nice stroll.   I underestimated the challenge!

Walking down the road to the trail head, I was passed by a climber heading up to the cliff.  I said hello and asked if he was out for a climb.  As I was saying it, I tripped on a rock...kicking it with my repaired leg.  Ouch!  I wasn't even on the trail yet, and I was getting into trouble.  The climber warned me that it was muddy and wet as we picked our way through the seasonal wet spot at the trail head.   I just nodded and tried to concentrate on my footwork.  Once on the trail, I could see it was all snow and ice.  Ugh!  No turning back now superman.  The climber pressed on and turned right at the single path to the base of the cliff.  I had half a mind to follow him, but didn't dare.  I knew I had a better chance of getting to the top safely if I stayed on the double track.

It wasn't pretty and took awhile, but I picked my way up to the top without hurting myself.  I had one close call when I stepped on some ice that collapsed under my bad leg.  It was comforting to know that my leg could hold up under the impact, but a bit scary nonetheless.  Near the top I noticed the usual garbage left by others, and wished I had brought a garbage bag.  In the past, the Connecticut Climbers and Mountaineers have held annual clean-ups at the crag.  It helps, but it gets trashed again within weeks.  Occasionally, I would pick up trash during my runs, but it's hard to carry much while running.  After basking at the summit and taking a few photos, I decided to pick up some trash on the way down.  I carried as much as I could find along the path...which was about all I could handle.

On the way down the steep section, I struggled to find good footing.  My leg was hurting quite a bit and I limped and hobbled my way to find dirt patches.  A man was out walking his dog and asked if I was OK.  I said that I was fine, but didn't explain the erratic cadence.  He said to me, "That's a lot of beer to drink!" and pointed at the empty 6 pack of Long Trail beer that I was carrying.  I smiled and told him that I was picking up trash and hadn't been drinking.  He said OK, but I could see he wasn't sure if I was being truthful.  I explained that I had broken my leg, but he didn't seem interested.  As far as he was concerned, I drank a 6 pack of beer and now was trying to stumble my way down an icy slope.  How irresponsible could I be?!  HA!!  Oh well, he'll have a good story to tell someone tonight.

When I got back to the car, I checked the time.  It had taken me 30 minutes to walk the half mile from the top.  I used to run that path in just a few minutes.  Wow!  I know I have a long way to go, but I'm enjoying the journey.  I sat on the tailgate of the E and stared up at the cliff.  What a different life I am leading now.  So many times I have climbed up the cliff or run the trails and now I humbly hike a mile and take pride in the accomplishment.  It's been a journey.  I could look at what I once had and wonder if I will ever get it back OR I could remember that I was on crutches 5 months and 5 weeks ago and know that the walk I took today is a minor miracle after what I've experienced.  I remember the nurses trying to teach me how to use the walker, so I could get into my house.  Now, I'm walking to the top of the cliff.

It's a great start!

We have nearly 60 runners signed up for Traprock this year.  It's going to be a great race!  Looking forward to seeing you all there.  I'll be marking the course with all of you in mind. :-)

Peace!

Steve

First steps

It was a beautiful day yesterday.  A perfect day for a run!  I'm sure many of you were having fun outside, and I didn't want to miss it either.  I've been riding the stationary bike and doing some elliptical, stretching, and doing some balance work.  The leg is still very weak, but my mobility and endurance have improved considerably over the past 2 weeks.  I haven't used the cane in more than 10 days.  Life is getting better every day.

So yesterday I did my usual routine at the gym: 30 min. elliptical (3 miles - woohoo!), abs, some weights for the upper body, stretching, and trying to balance on my weak leg.  Eh!  It was OK, but I really wanted to be outside.

Char came by around 1pm, and we decided to try for a walk at the West Hartford Reservoir (#6).  I have been walking with a fairly pronounced limp for about 10 days, but I manage OK.  I haven't walked more than a couple hundred yards at a time though, so I had no idea how far I could reasonably walk.  Keep in mind, I'm only five weeks into the healing since the screw was removed.  Once the screw was removed everything moved, and the healing essentially started anew.  The docs are all over the place in terms of how much load is OK, etc., so I'm going with my gut at this point.  The bone seems to be healing and I don't think the leg isn't getting any shorter at this point.  The loading is supposed to promote healing, so off we went.

We decided to walk the road along the reservoir since the footing on the trail looked pretty poor due to snow and ice.  Normally, I relish the challenge of running on the nasty stuff, but one has to start somewhere I suppose.  I certainly can't risk a fall at this point.

So, we walked for a couple hundred yards, and I was thinking my goal was to get to the first bench at a minimum and hopefully shoot for a mile if all went well.  The pain was manageable (think nagging toothache).  I mentioned to Char that it would be nice to take some pictures to document my first "walk" since October 2, so she ran back to the car to get the camera.  I shuffled along at my snail pace.  Along the way, I ran into a gent we met at the Traprock 50K last year.   He was an old time runner and really liked the fact that we had started another ultra in CT.  He and his friend, Tony, saw me limping along and asked why I wasn't running on such a glorious day.   I told them about my accident and they asked the usual questions.  We talked about Traprock a bit and then Charlotte caught up to us.  It turns out that this gent was Char's neighbor, and we had a good old time chatting for a few minutes.

My back started to stiffen, so I wanted to get moving.  I think the apprehension of not knowing how far I could walk was also getting to me.  We bid them farewell and hoped to see them at Traprock, and then pressed onward.  Before we knew it, we had passed the bench along the reservoir...1 milestone down.  We walked along as Charlotte analyzed my stride.  We tried some variations to see what would work, and then she suggested I try swinging my arms like I was running.  I tried it and it helped.  It actually felt like I was running.  Of course, I was not running, but it sure felt good to be moving somewhat fluidly.  Unfortunately, this took a lot of energy for me, so I had to stop and rest a bit.  We tried to walk to the end of the pavement, but the pain started getting to me.  I was nervous about getting back to the car, so we decided to turn around.

On the way back, I saw a car that looked like the "Goat mobile" driving toward us.  I mentioned to Charlotte that the car looked like Goat's, and then he pulled up alongside us.  As fate would have it, Goat and his new girlfriend were out for a tour of our stomping grounds.  What's the chance of us running into each other there?   Introductions were made, and we chatted for a bit.  It was a cool thing.  They drove off into the sunset, and Char and I made our way back toward the car.  I had to stop and rest on the guard rail a couple times and old folks were lapping us, but we were fine with it.  The pain was getting bad toward the end, but we managed to pull it off.  I was very excited and asked Char to clock the mileage to see how far we walked.  We drove back and clocked it at 1.8 miles.  Nice!

I can't remember the last time I got excited about doing anything for 1.8 miles, but to me it felt like I had just run a marathon.  No, I wasn't sweaty and exhausted, but the mental effort was just the same.  Venturing into new territory....giving it your all when the outcome in unknown, and then taking pride in the effort.  It felt good.

I was sore last night, but glad we went for the walk.  The fresh air and sunshine did me good.  Today it is raining, so we went to the gym.  I tried to focus on strengthening the leg today.  I go for another x-ray this week and am not cleared for any strength training yet, so I just used 15 lbs. of weight for some leg curls.  It felt pretty good doing some easy reps.  The knee is still very weak.  I believe the limp will slowly diminish as my strength improves.  My goal is to be able to walk the Traprock 50K course on April 15th, so I can put out the trail markers.  It would be a 10.5 mile effort in total.  We'll see if I can pull it off.

Hope you all had a fantastic weekend and look forward to seeing many of you at the 2nd annual Traprock 50K on April 16th!  Don't forget to sign up soon.  We need to get the T-shirt order placed!

Peace!

Steve

Saying goodbye

I went to a funeral for a close friend of the family today.  It's funny how these lasting friendships are formed.  My youngest sister was a friend of their daughter in elementary school.  It not only turned into a lifelong friendship, but our parents became lifelong friends as well.  In fact, we all became very close.

When I was in the hospital, their son, close friends with my brother, sent me a book to read about Herman Meier, the great Austrian skier known as the Hermanator.  He was a World Cup and Olympic Champion who broke his leg in a motorcycle accident and made a big comeback.   I was very grateful for the book as it helped me relate to what I was going through and what I had in store in the weeks and months ahead.  We chatted about it briefly at the wake on Sunday.  He knew I would appreciate it as he was a strong bike racer in high school.  He is now a NYC police officer with a wife and 2 young children.

After a brief chat, he moved on to other visitors and I perused the traditional photos of the departed one that are posted at these types of events.  There were photos of their Dad as a young Marine Corps. graduate as well as more recent photos with his grandchildren.   I saw a photo of our families together in front of our fireplace.  I was missing from the photo.  My Mom said it was New Year's eve.  I was probably in college at the time or newly married.

He was a good man.  He was very different from my father...in fact, they were polar opposites in many respects.  They were both great fathers and good men with working class jobs.  They were both born in 1941, but very different in every other category.  Their Dad enjoyed reading, knew computers, and knew a lot of trivia.  He enjoyed gardening/landscaping.  He played trivial pursuit with us and I always found it interesting that he played the bagpipes.   He was a very modest man, kept a relatively low profile, but never turned away from a good conversation.

He could tell  a story as his son recalled at the service this morning.  He would come close to you liked he had a secret to tell...like you were going to get the inside scoop on something that we probably weren't supposed to know.  He was Irish-American with a pretty thick New York (Bronx?) accent.  He would say, "Hey, let me tell you something..." with a sly grin on his face, and into the story he would roll...

The thing that struck me most about this man was that despite the fact that he was the same age as my Dad, he treated me as an equal.  I was a teenager at the time our families starting spending a lot of time together.  I was 6 and 8 years older than their children, so I didn't spend much time with the kids.  I was into playing frisbee, driving around with my friends, hanging out with my girlfriend, etc.  On the off chance I was at the house when Mr. G was there, he would invariably start chatting with me about some interesting fact that he recently learned.  He might offer me some unsolicited advice or try to council me if I was at odds with my parents.  He always treated me like an adult rather than a kid, and I really appreciated it.  They say whatever you give, you always get more in return.  Well, he gave me a lot of respect at an age when few adults give you the time of day.  I had long hair and thought I knew everything.  In his subtle way, he made me aware that I didn't know everything, and tried to help me....the whole time treating me as an equal.  I have the greatest respect for him and thank him for his friendship.

I didn't have a chance to say goodbye to him as he went rather quickly this past week.  My little sister spent some time with him last weekend, and she said he asked about me.  He said that he always thought I was very smart and that I had to grow up very fast when I moved to Florida (I was a father at barely age 24 and again at 25).   He was sorry that we had lost touch and then he talked about my accident and running.  

I could see him now...If I were there, he would have looked around the room like he had a secret to tell.  He would make sure no one was within earshot, and then with a sly smile on his face and another glance around the room, he would say in a low voice, "Let me tell you somethin'....You don't need to run to prove anything to anyone.  You're too old for that stuff.  Just run for the fun and enjoyment of it.  Run with your friends.  Don't worry about the leg.  Don't worry about how fast you run....and you don't need to run another 100 miles for Chrissake...leave that to the young bucks!"  He basically told my sister as much on Sunday.  I appreciate the fact that he was asking for me and wish I had been able to see him one last time.  His advice was always good even if I wasn't ready to listen at the time.

So, I will miss you Mr. G.  I will run for fun when the time comes.  I may race again, but will remember to keep it fun and in perspective.  I'd really like to walk without this limp for starters, so if you have any pull with the big guy up there...please tell him a good story about me and see if he can help a little.

Thanks for the memories.  Peace!

Setbacks and steps forward

It's been awhile since I posted anything, and I apologize for not keeping folks updated.  It's been a crazy, scary month and I wanted to have something positive to share in this space.  To say the last 5 months has been a roller coaster ride is a major understatement.  It's like saying there are a few Geico commercials these days.  Apologies to Mr. Buffett...I do enjoy the commercials, but I'm getting tired of them as much as I'm getting tired of being injured.  There is good news to share nonetheless...

As many of you know, I started riding the bike over the holidays and even did some elliptical work in January.  I gave up the crutches for a couple weeks and progressed to the point of walking unassisted (but with a limp).  I was psyched with my progress, but my Doc du jour (#4) insisted that we needed to remove the screw in my knee to put some load on the fracture site and promote good healing.  As an engineer, the logic made total sense to me, and I was assigned a surgery date of January 25.  Charlotte and I drove to NYC for the 5 minute operation.   I elected to remain conscious for the whole thing.  My anesthesiologist was a female marathon runner, so I did my best sales pitch on her to run the Traprock 50K (while she pumped a nice pain killing cocktail in my body) as the screw was extracted.  What can I say?  Traprock or bust!  The operation was a success, and I hobbled out of the hospital under my own power and drove home thinking all was good with the world.  Charlotte and I chatted away and discussed plans for the future.

When I arrived at home, I knew something was wrong when I got out of the car.  The pain had increased to the point that I could hardly walk.  It felt like the worst Charlie horse you could imagine.  By that evening, I was ready for painkillers, so Goat and I made a run to CVS for some hard stuff.  By the next morning, I could barely touch my foot to the ground without screaming.  It was ugly.  Furthermore, I could see that my foot seemed twisted counterclockwise.   "Is it me or is it really?", I kept wondering.  I could hardly walk with the cane after 2 days, so switched back to crutches.  My knee felt hyperextended and the pain was incredible.  I contacted the Doc and he told me to come back for an X-ray on Monday.  The x-ray showed that the gap had closed and that I lost approx. 5 mm in length due to the compression.  The doc insisted that my legs were equal length now as he believe it was set in an extended position originally (hence the gap).  He also said the rotation was fine.  In fact, the surgery did exactly what he wanted.  The gap was closed and we had good bone to bone contact which would promote good healing.  I drove home as confused as ever.  The pain over the next 2 weeks was incredible and the mental distress of having lost nearly 1/4" in leg length was even worse.  I went back to Doctor #3 for his assessment.  He indicated that I did have a leg length discrepancy with some rotation, but he could not make a firm recommendation until we knew the exact nature of the situation.  He recommended a catscan to assess the length and rotation.  After consulting a radiologist friend about the radiation exposure, I decided to go for the catscan and get some data.  The results indicated 3-3.5mm leg length discrepancy (about 1/8") and 7 degrees rotation.  I consulted Doctors 3,4 and now #5 and they all agreed the situation did not warrant any additional surgery.  I was within 1 sigma variation of perfect alignment which meant I would be fine for an average person.  For the question of whether I could ever run 100 miles again...I was on my own.  OK, I thought, I can live with it if I can live pain free and without a limp...I can be an average guy.  Just stop the pain!

I don't like the leg length discrepancy.  1/8" does not sound like a lot, but it feels like a lot to me.  It is said that most people cannot detect a 1/8" difference and podiatrists typically do not shim for that level of discrepancy.  My concern is whether I bottomed out at 1/8" or if it kept moving.  At this point, I think it has found it's happy home, and is healing rapidly.  The awkwardness and imbalance are improving each day.  I'm sure it will be fine in the long run (no pun intended), but it's hard to come to grips with it right now.  I can spin on a dime with my right leg, and I don't care for it.  The good news is that the 7 degrees seems to be less of an issue each day, and the pain level is steadily improving.  I've managed to start walking without the cane the past couple of days, but I still have a limp.  I believe the limp is do to the muscle imbalance because I seem to be walking without a limp when I use the cane.   Since the Docs don't want me doing PT until the callus can be confirmed via x-ray, I have adopted a few exercises to strengthen my balance in an effort to lose the limp.

I've ridden the stationary bike 3 times in the past week.  The first time was extremely painful and somewhat discouraging.  The second attempt was much better, and today I cranked for 35 minutes at a pace of approx. 18 mph.  I think I may go again tomorrow night to do a little more work.  The balance and limp seem to be getting better, and I think I'm almost back to where I was 1 month ago before the screw was removed.

The mental battle over whether removing the screw was a good decision was a tough one, but I've come to terms with it.  If I can escape this event with only a 1/8" leg length difference, I consider myself a very lucky man.  I fell 100 feet and lived to tell about it.  The director at the YMCA reminded me of it today.  Over the past weeks and months, many of you have reminded me how lucky I was to be alive with only a broken femur.  Unfortunately, the pain level (mentally and physically) over the past 5 months has been so great at times that it was hard for me to appreciate my good fortunes.  It's hard to understand, but it's hard to cope when people need to do most of your domestic chores for you, when your friends are out running without you, and you just sit around playing mental games all day.

Over the past month, I have had an ongoing negotiation with God.  I asked for the pain to go away and to just let me walk normally without a limp.  I asked for the ability to hike without pain and sit at a desk without having to shift every 10 minutes.  I was so distraught that I did not ask to run again.  It was something that I was willing to sacrifice in the negotiation.  Just let me live a normal life and I will be OK.

Of course, as each day improves, the terms of the negotiation change.  As the pain level improves and the walking gets better, I start to think forward to the next steps.  I believe I will run again, but not sure how often or how far.  Will there be pain?  Will it be temporary?  Will I need a shim in my shoe?  Will I be able to run that marathon with my granddaughter in 20 years (she turns 2 tomorrow :-). Will I ever run another ultra?  Is it too much to even think about running another 100 miler?

I guess all of these questions will be answered in due time.  I am learning to practice patience and take each day as it comes.  I told my boss that my goal was to walk without a limp by April 1.  It's funny... I had planned to run another 100 miler this year, and now my goal is to walk without a limp.

Things are looking good though, so perhaps the April 1 date will move up by a few weeks.  I'd love to be able to walk the Traprock 50K course.  If I can start PT before April, I may even be able to run by June.  Wouldn't that be something?

I need to be patient though.  Right now, I'm happy to be able to walk to the mailbox, carry my laundry up the stairs, and do my own grocery shopping.  These are all things that I appreciate so much more now.

I gave my big screen TV to my Dad last night.  I had my cable TV service disconnected a couple months ago, and haven't really missed it.  I mentioned it to my Dad and offered him the TV on Christmas day.  His eyes lit up, and I knew there was no turning back at that point.  I know he will enjoy it in a big way which will give me more satisfaction than watching it could ever provide me.  My Mom always said, "Your health is your wealth".  Never worry about money as long as you have your health because you can always earn more money if you are healthy.  She is a wise woman.  I'm working on the health part now, and hope to be back in the black (in terms of health) before too long.

It would make a great story...running another 100 miler.  It's something to dream about...but for now the focus is on walking.

Looking forward to the first steps along the way.

Peace!

Steve

Where are we now?

OK, so things didn't go quite as planned this past week.  After having the screw removed on Tuesday, I walked out of the hospital with a little support from Charlotte and a handrail.  It wasn't bad as I was still on local anesthestia.  By the time I got home, however, it was rather painful to get into the house.  Charlotte picked up some tylenol for me and I had a prescription for vicoden just in case.  It didn't take long to realize I was going to need the vicoden and the Goat took me to the drugstore to get my prescription filled (sounds like a Who song).

I started walking with a cane, but the pain was pretty intense.  I could barely touch my foot to the floor without the most intense pain.  I stayed home and tried to work remotely.  At this point, I figured this was all part of the recovery process.  The doctor and I were communicating daily, and we suspected the pain was due to the fracture finally being loaded after the screw was removed.  Wow, it hurt!

On Thursday though, I started having pretty intense knee pain on the outside of my left knee.  It felt like I had strained something, but this pain was worse than the femur pain.  I was still taking the the painkillers and wondered what was going on.  I realized my left foot and leg were pointing in a different direction.  I wasn't sure if I was imagining it, but it started freaking me out a bit.   The doc said it was doubtful that it moved, but possible.

By Friday night, I could barely walk and every step was incredibly painful.  Granted, I was off the pain meds at this point, but I was not expecting this much pain.  On Saturday morning, I sent an email to the doc asking for help.  He told me to be in his office Monday morning for an x-ray.

Since then, I've tried to consider all the options and keep a positive attitude.  I've gone back to using the crutches and am not putting any weight on the leg.  My hip has now taken over from the knee as the number one pain riser with the fracture zone quickly following.  I am trying to prevent any further opportunity for regression until we know the situation. 

Tonight, the Goat came over and we plotted our day tomorrow.  He's picking me up at 5:30AM and we head for the Big Apple.  We had a good heart to heart talk and shared some of our feelings about this experience together.  We are in it together and will both be better off from this experience.  I appreciate all the support he has given me since the accident, and I know we'll take this next hill in stride.  I appreciate all the support each and everyone of you has given me over the past 4 months and know you will be there if needed on the road ahead.  I also look forward to sharing more fun experience with all of you as my body rejuvenates itself. 

Goat says I should write a book about the experience.  I think it could be a good read.  First things first of course.  Let's get the recovery back on track and then figure it out. 

I will run again.  It's just a matter of time. 

Peace

Marching Forward

This experience has been enlightening in terms of the medical profession.  I won't be too critical here because many of you know the Doctors that I am consulting.  Nevertheless, it has been a journey.  It seems to me that the patient needs to do a lot of work to get the right course of treatment. I've consulted 3 different doctors since my injury in addition to the original surgeon back in Poughkeepsie.  It's been a bit frustrating because there are so many different approaches to tackling these things. 

Without getting into all the details, let's just say I am full weight bearing at this point even though my fracture is not healed.  The latest Doc I have consulted believes I should have been weighting the leg much sooner and more significantly.  Basically, I should have been weight bearing after 6 weeks and my bone should be healed by now.  The weighting helps heal the leg, so not sure why previous Docs advised otherwise.  It's like telling a patient not to put a band-aid on a cut until after it stops bleeding.

The good news is that this latest Doctor insists that the 10 degree angle is nothing to worry about and that the main issue is getting the bone to heal.  He does not want to wait any longer to take action and believes we should take out the bottom screw ASAP to promote healing.  I'm tentatively scheduled to get this done on 1-25, but need to get blood work, EKG, and check with my insurance company to see if this is an "in network" physician/facility. More fun!

The good news is that I have started walking without the crutches.  I went down to 1 crutch for a couple hours, and then picked up a cane to make life easier.  Walking with the cane is great and my stride looks pretty good (all things considered).  I can hobble for short distances without the cane, but like to have it out in public.  It's a nice security blanket for the ice/snow.  It helps when someone is coming at you with a high speed shopping cart too!  Getting rid of the crutches provides another degree of freedom as I can now carry some things, like a cup of tea, much easier.  I have a free hand with the cane.

The knee has been very painful with the additional weight, but it seems to be improving a little.  Sometimes I get pain in the area of the break when loading it, but it is intermittent.  I'm not sure if this implies good healing or is a concern.  My plan has been to shuffle around the house and walk with the cane when venturing out.  So far, it's been OK, but I worry that I am loading the leg a little too much at times.

Yesterday, I tried the elliptical machine after riding the bke for an hour.  It felt reasonable, but my ankle got sore after 5 minutes.  I tried the elliptical first today and managed to stay on for 20 minutes without much trouble.  I jumped over and hit the bike for 40 minutes to make it an even hour, and then did abs and some weights.  Stretching finished off the session.  It seems like my range of motion gets a little better each day. 

I'm cautiously optimistic.  We have to get the bone to heal pronto, and then everything else follows.  I could potentially be running by summer, but the bone has to cooperate first.  If my efforts from the past 2 days have anything to do with it, the bones won't have a choice.  In addition to all the physical activity, I have also started taking calcium and fish oil supplements to promote healing as well as a multi-vitamin.

Seeing the progress over the past 2 days has made me very happy, but I'm trying to stay realistic relative to the whole picture.  I still have a lot of questions that need to be answered before I can be confident that we are out of the woods.  As I said, I am cautiously optimistic!

Things are improving daily.....they don't have a choice.  Seems like the whole community is pulling me to run again.  It's fantastic to feel people pulling me in this journey.  There are definitely times when I need it. 

Thank you for all the support over the past 3.5 months.  It is much appreciated and has gotten me through a lot.  Life is good! 

Peace,

Steve

Verdict Day

Tomorrow is a huge day for me.  I will see 2 doctors and find out if my femur is healing according to plan and whether my knee will require surgery.  If the femur is healing well, I should be off the crutches soon.  However, I may be back on them in short order if the knee requires significant repair.

It's been a journey and then some over these past 3 months and 1 week (not than I'm counting or anything).    My attitude has improved as I get closer to being able to walk without crutches.  It's been so wonderful to be able to spin on the bike and walk with some weight on the leg.  One doctor told me I could be at 100% weight bearing by now and the other said 50%.  I've split the difference.  I test the limits at times, but generally have been conservative.  Over the past 4 weeks, I have been spinning on the stationary bike about 5 days per week.  Yesterday, I had my best effort at 18.75 miles in one hour.  It felt good to crank and get the heart rate up.

Today, I went easier and concentrated on core and upper body work.  I think this is the strongest my core has been since high school.  It feels good.  The kicker was when I went to the supermarket and pushed a shopping cart by myself with no crutches.  I usually just carry a small bag for a couple items when I am alone.  It is a real drag and very inefficient.  Today was an adventure, but great fun experimenting with the cart.  I beamed with pride as I pushed it around the place.  I purchased a full load and then realized I needed to get it all in the house with my crutches.  Oops!  Another adventure!  It took awhile, but I did it.

It's been tough these past 3 months, but the small daily improvements keep me motivated.  I'd like to start hitting the pool again once I get rid of the crutches (it's just too scary around wet stuff).  It feels good to get bits of my independence back.  When I accomplish something for the first time, I look around with a big smile like a little kid.  It feels good!

My prediction for tomorrow is good news on the bone healing.  With all the work I have done over the past 4 weeks and increased protein intake, it has to be progressing.  The best news will be when I can go full weight bearing and get rid of these crutches!  The verdict on the knee will be interesting - I honestly have no idea what the Doc will tell me.  Sometimes I think it will be fine, and at other times I think the opposite.

"Everything happens for a reason", I have often heard this statement and I believe it is true.  Some things are too uncanny to figure otherwise.  While I have missed my independence over the last few months, I have experienced things that I probably would never have taken the time to enjoy.  My relationship with Charlotte has grown deeper as a result of the fall as she has been there with me every step of the way.  I'm grateful to the Goat, EuroMan, and many other friends who have leant a helping hand during my time of need.   My girls have transitioned to new phases of their lives during this period, and it's been great to be there to watch them.  I feel that I have a different perspective on life and no longer sweat the little stuff.   Isn't it all little stuff?

Life is good!  I know 2011 will be another great adventure.  I hope you all have great plans for the year ahead.  As for me, I will walk before I run, but running isn't too far away.  Hope to see you out on the trails soon!  After all, we need to mark the course for Traprock 2011!

Peace,

Steve